Trigger Warning Ahead

You know how with some people, you just have to bite your lip to keep yourself from losing it?

Meet Samaria, the new efficient way to piss of an entire class with one sentence. (Is piss a swear word?)

Samaria is what would happen if a rich kid of Instagram made a mistake with a rich guy twenty years older and the rich guy left the rich kid, but since the rich kid was active with any rich guy she could find, she couldn’t prove who the child’s father was. But, the rich guy wound up having to pay thousands of dollars in unneeded child support to every rich woman he ever slept with who eventually went on to have a child and so Samaria wound up super rich. So Samaria gets to grow up with Apple Watches and iPhone Xs, and can complain that life sucks since she only gets to see her dad once a month when he takes her on exotic vacations. Sounds like something out of a Lifetime movie, right? Well, that’s actually true. That’s legitimately her life.

Last week, she was on a cruise to Cuba and some other places. This was the first time she missed more than two days of class for one of her vacations, and it was so quiet. Everyone was focused, everyone got their work done, and we had a lot of extra time.

Today, she returned and my school experienced what I refer to as the Groan Heard Around The World™. As in everyone groaned as she walked in. She immediately went back to annoying the crap out of anyone who’s family makes less than $100,000 per year. Which is the majority of the school.

“Look at my earrings! They’re gold! Daddy offered to by me diamonds, but since it was exotic, he bought me a pearl necklace. It doesn’t match anything! Except for like two things.” (Yes, she stereotypically calls her Dad “Daddy”.)

All her rich kid friends crowded around and started discussing tourist locations, because apparently some of us have been on multiple cruises to Cuba.

Mr. Begley attempted to start teaching, but Samaria was showing Linsey pictures of her at a waterfall.

“Dude, seriously. No one even cares.” Remy muttered. He’s terrified of Samaria because she loves to give him hugs and gummy bears.

Mr. Begley tried to start a lesson, but Samaria constantly interrupted him by saying, “I didn’t do that. I was in Havana.”

“We know. You’ve only said that about a hundred times!” Antiya mumbled.

“SHUT UP ANTIYA! NO ONE FREAKING ASKED YOU!!”

Another thing about Samaria. She has a loud voice that carries, and she loves to yell, then deny that she was yelling. She also can’t take what she disses out, but constantly annoys everyone else.

Mr. Begley assigned us a 3 paragraph essay. He gave us 40 minutes. Super easy, right?

Well, Natalia, Remy, and I were talking about going to band after finishing. I said, “Yeah, it’s super easy. Give me like five minutes.”

Samaria, listening to see if Remy happened to mention the crush he doesn’t have on her, yelled, “Well, of COURSE it’s easy for YOU, Kai! LIFE is easy for you! But some of us have the hard life. I RARELY see my Daddy! My mom has to support the family! So life isn’t easy for all of us!”

Coming from the girl who still smells like the beach.

“Whatever.” I said, so proud of myself for not throwing a pencil at her. I wouldn’t do that to the poor pencil. I finished my work, went to band, and put her out of my head.

Later, in Science, Mr. Freece was explaining simple physics. He gave us twenty minutes to finish a worksheet, and Natalia, Sarah, Chase and I were finishing up when we heard Samaria yell “What do ya mean ISIS is not a country?!” The rich kids were talking about kids in different countries, all of which they’ve visited.

We snickered and ignored her, then heard her say “Life shouldn’t be hard! I’m only thirteen! Life shouldn’t be hard yet!”

I could tell Natalia was getting ready to give Samaria a piece of her mind, so I raised our papers and said “We’re done! Can we go practice our instruments?”

“Kai, no one cares! Just because you’re sooooo smart doesn’t make you better than the rest of us! You’re only smart because you’re RUSSIAN and you went to school there. Lucky you. Not all of us have it that easy, Kai! Be considerate.” Samaria bellowed. She actually bellowed, like a cow or donkey.

Her dumb little insults don’t bother me, but Natalia makes it her life’s mission to “protect” me. I’m actually kind of proud of the result.

“Be considerate?! Do you even know what that means?! You’re the inconsiderate one! Being Russian doesn’t make you smart! Only an imbecile who makes excuses for their own idiocy would say something as stupid as that. You can do this math on a calculator. That’s why we finished so quickly. Because it’s easy, and you’re stupid. And yeah. Life sucks. But it could be so much worse. You could be a starving child. You could be a victim of war. You could be living on the streets. You could be living in an abusive home. You could be an orphan. You could be dying. You could be a child labourer. You could be in jail or juvie. You could be raped. You could be a mentally ill child. You could be deformed. You could be a sex slave. You could be a child solider. You could be a mother. Imagine that. That would be something to complain about, not the fact that you’re getting a world class education or that your iPhone is dead.” Natalia finished her speech.

Hannah whistled and kids started clapping. Natalia took a bow. Mr. Freece signed our passes, and we left the classroom, leaving Samaria looking stunned. What a proud moment that was!

👸🏾💗🤴🏼🔜🛌💓💝💖🔜🤰🏾🤦🏾‍♀️🔜👸🏾💬🤴🏼🔜🏃🏼🔜👶🏽🔜👧🏽🔜👩🏽🔜💍🍹💶💴💵💸💰💳💷💎🔮🛍🔜👩🏽💬😡🤥🙄💩🔜🙎🏻🙎🏽‍♂️🙍🏿🙍🏾‍♂️🙎🏼🔜👩🏽💬💵🔜👩🏼‍🏫💯🔜👩🏽💬😁🔜👩🏼‍🏫💬🙄

THE END